I’ve done the math. It’s official. I’m about to be an old mom.
Chronology of my age in reference to the baby’s milestones:
39 – Baby is born
55 – Baby gets driver’s license
58 – Baby can vote
61 – Baby can legally purchase alcohol
62 – Baby graduates from college
78 – I become a grandma (if Baby has a baby at the same age I did)
I’m not sure where the dividing line is between a young mom and an old mom. If you’re closer to 20, I guess you’re a young mom. If you’re closer to 40, you’re like me. Old! I have to say that I’m still an adolescent if you refer to my gutter-minded sense of humor. But chronologically, there’s no way around it. I’m almost 40. I’m in the “at risk” pregnancy group. I theoretically shouldn’t even be pregnant! I’m just plain old for a first-time mom. And all I can do is embrace it. I’m an early-showing, cravings-obsessed, emotionally-wacked, big, old first-time mom-to-be! And my goal is to make parenting ageless!
Having a baby is one of the greatest and toughest decisions we’ve ever made. Tim and I spent years vowing we would never have kids. We said this to a lot of people. Over time, things changed. But we didn’t call all of those people to let them know that we were changing our minds. So it came as a shock to many who stopped bugging us about it years ago!
Personally, I’m really glad we waited. I’m also very grateful for the fact that we were able to get pregnant relatively easily. As you know, the biggest drawback to waiting is that the ability to get pregnant is tougher every year. This creates a pressure-filled situation that many refer to as the ticking clock. I’m sure some of you are feeling it right now. I don’t know any woman who has not put herself through the children/ no children debate.
If you are like me – old and pregnant – you have lots of incredible role models who make it look very easy. As most of them will attest, it’s all about “looking” easy!
Take Jackie McFee. She is Skirt Sports famous designer of the gorgeous Kendall Kollection print, and mom of three. She’s also “not young” like me! Jackie had her third baby at age 37. She seems to employ one of the most powerful tactics to battle the whirlwind that is her life – HUMOR. Always positive, always crazy, always laughing! A few minutes of commiserating with Jackie and you’ll feel better.
Check out Michele Green: Skirt Sports Accounts Receivable Manager and mom of four. She had her youngest when she was 38. I know this because she’s my sister! Michele is constantly juggling, sharing trials and tribulations, and laughing. She recently called to tell me that her 3 year old girl just called her 6 year old boy an a–hole. We started laughing as we agreed that we couldn’t really argue with her. Our ability to laugh about it also helped Michele come up with an acceptable punishment for swearing! Again, humor and commiserating. I’m beginning to feel like I won’t be alone out there!
When I recently went to Chicago for my Grandma’s memorial, my uncle presented a wonderful slideshow of her life. I never realized that my Grandma had her fifth son at age 38. If she were still with us, I would ask her to share her experiences. I can almost bet on what she’d say – laugh a lot and commiserate! What else can you do with five boys?!
The only real downside I can see to being an old mom is that I theoretically won’t be in this world as long as if I were a young mom. I may not have the opportunity to meet my great-grandkids. But other than that, I have a feeling that age is irrelevant. Age-discrimination does not exist in mom-land! You go forward when you’re ready. If you waited too long to have biological children, you readjust your mindset and decide to have kids another way. That’s all you can do. You can’t rush a decision this big and you can’t regret your path.
On that note, I’d love to hear from you, both young and old moms like me! What has been the toughest part of adjusting to becoming a first-time mom? And on that note, what should I be doing RIGHT NOW, that I won’t be able to do after the baby arrives? Tell me! I have 24 weeks left!!!
It’s time to take the AGE out of parentage!